Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He did a backflip because drugs
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
