let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
