Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
