You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
