girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
