Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
