fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Just puked most of my soul out..
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
