Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize
