sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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