Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
