Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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