Please, let me fuck your mom
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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