Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize