I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
