I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize