so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
