I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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