I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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