Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
