That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize