its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize