You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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