If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
