wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
