Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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