ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
