You don't have asthma, your pregnant
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
