Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
