Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
