My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
