i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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