i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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