it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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