Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
