Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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