i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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