All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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