The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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