We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
