He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
