so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
