you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
