No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
you're hired as official boob wrangler
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize