fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
