trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize