garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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