The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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