so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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