Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
