you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
