He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
