he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
