I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I am one with the molecules
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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