Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
