why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
