Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize