Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
