my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
