I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
