she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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