is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
