chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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