Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
